As the parent of a son who was incarcerated at the age of 17 yrs old in an adult jail, my family and I were thrown into a world of fear, uncertainties, anxiety and numerous unknowns. The fear arose when our son “snapped” and stabbed his Dad and younger brother multiple times. Fear immediately set in until I reached the hospital to find both my husband and my youngest son in the intensive care unit. The fear I felt for our son who had committed this horrendous act, where he was being held, what happened in my absence, what happened to my family in a matter of minutes. Was Kirk going to be safe? A child who loved the outdoors, loved people, and loved life, locked up in a very unfamiliar environment. He needed to be accountable, yet we did not have any experience in dealing with “the system”. I did not even know the location of our county jail.
Then there was the unbelievable anxiety and fear that took over my whole mind and body the day Kirk walked into the courtroom for his arraignment with several older men sitting in the chairs beside and around him. Each one looked as though they could have been his father, or grandfather. He was 17, and his new acquaintances were a scary-looking group of strangers dressed in an orange scrub-like pant and shirt, with yellowing white t-shirts under their shirt. Each person accessorized with handcuffs and shackles. These were the new connections providing him advice and guidance based upon their own experience in the criminal justice system.
For days, weeks and then months we attempted to not say too much, or ask too much, for fear we may jeopardize his safety. The other reason that we did not ask to many questions when we visited him, was we did not know what to ask, o
r what to do. There is no one that takes your hand and walks you through this type of situation. No one reaches out and tells you the next steps, there is not a parenting book or manual that guides you. Wisconsin holds all 17 yr olds as adults for the purpose of any criminal behavior. June 18th, 2005 my husband and I were Kirk’s parents, and 24 hrs later on June 19th, 2005 we remained his parents, however he became an adult by definition of the court.
We were unaware of the lack of information available, because we plainly did not know. Our primary concern continued to be “is he safe?” Kirk survived the daily routine; however he was targeted for all the risks that have been identified by the Office of Juvenile Justice Delinquency and Prevention, physical abuse, sexual abuse, mental games, and more. The risk of suicide is 33 times more prevalent when incarcerating a youth with adults.
Kirk survived his first-ever holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas) without his family sharing the same dinner table, the same conversation and the same family camaraderie. December 27th, 2005, Kirk did not survive.
A phone call to my parents, and then to my brother and sister-in-law, alerting the rest of my family, brought my family to us at 3:30am, to stand before us and speak the words that you never want to hear, “Kirk hung himself”. “Kirk is gone”. How did he survive almost 7 months and then take his life two days after surviving the holiday? More unknowns that we now need to learn to live with.
Vicky Gunderson has taken an advocacy role to be the voice of Kirk. He had a journal that described his daily challenges, his hope for his future, and his family. Kirk had a passion for drawing. His creative talent included a drawing of who he was in his mind when he was first incarcerated and then months later who he had become after being incarcerated for several months.
His voice has been shared through articles, presentations and legislative sessions. Our hope is that Wisconsin will realize the risk of incarcerating our youth with adults, and raise the age to 18 yrs old.